Taco Bell’s Breakfast Menu, Ranked

February 19, 2016

As I’m putting in a breakfast order at my local Manhattan Taco Bell, the pre-Chipotlean Tex-Mex chain that’s a staple of game day commercials, Sylvester Stallone’s Demolition Man, and highway rest stops everywhere, one of the staffers starts flipping the overhead menus to display the lunch offerings. Except it is not yet lunchtime.

“I’m still reading those,” I say. He flips them back to breakfast. A guy tugs at the restroom door behind me, which is locked for security. He waves at a cashier, who then buzzes him in. A gentleman at one of the tables then starts shouting…